A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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