she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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