I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
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OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
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I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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