I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Houston, we have a squirter
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
