My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
