What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
