Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
