You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just threw up on my dentist
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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