i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
