does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
