:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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