I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
