Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
