Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
