when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
