What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
