nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
