I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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