dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
