Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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