I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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