fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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