Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
