You work out of a Hotel?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
