How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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