Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
