i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
