I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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