Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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