I didn't shave. On purpose
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
