why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
