If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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