Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
