Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
In America we eat man semen.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
