After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
