You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
