Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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