He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
