Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
