just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Sorry about my life...
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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