So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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