who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
