I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
