hotel room ftw
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
