I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
