Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
