Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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