I understand Curling. That high.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize