wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
