They should really pass out barf bags in church
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
