Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
