do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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