Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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