Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize