i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize