That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
