I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize