She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
