My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
