you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
