Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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