I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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