I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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