is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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