I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
